Rainbow Guard

I'm a sarcastipessimoptimist. I've got the best of both worlds, and then some. I'm a good citizen. I abide by the laws of gravity and of Murphy. I walk under ladders, chase after black cats, step on sidewalk cracks and throw salt on the pavement, not over my shoulder. Ahhh…feel the adrenaline rush. I have the bird in the hand and the two in the bush and the poop on my hands to prove it. I am woman, hear me…pray for menopause. I've been trying to return my monthly gift for years but no one will take it back. I've got my eyes on the prize, so I keep running into things. I ask deep, profound questions such as, "How can I use the invisible tape when I can never find it?" and "Tomatoes: Vegetable or Projectile?" When people say "You're a trip!" I tell them "I am not a trip; I am a whole vacation baby…" I love to leave people scratching their heads, unless they have dandruff. Then I feel bad. So to answer your question Plinky, I would definitely have to say that I, Rebecca, am most definitely something else. šŸ˜‰

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