Two cops in Alaska walk into a bar… (just kidding) 🙂 Two cops in Alaska were on a stakeout. While they waited for their suspect, they discussed a recent bank robbery. The culprit was a man who had never broken the law in his entire life. "What do you think pushed him over the edge and made him do such a thing Frank?" "Well Fred, he was deep in debt, about to lose his house, and his assets were frozen." "Well my ass is frozen too from sitting in this damn car, but you don't see me robbin' no bank." "Not his ass is frozen you imbecile, his assets are frozen." "If we stay out in this car for too much longer, my ass isn't the only thing that's going to be frozen." "Would you get off your ass?" "I thought you'd never ask! I'm gonna get me some hot coffee, you want some?" and out the door Fred went. Frank fumed in the car, cursing and muttering to himself, when suddenly, shots rang out inside the store. He leapt out of the car just in time to see his partner chasing a man down the street. The man slipped on a patch of ice and hit the ground hard. Fred pounced on him, struggling to get the man handcuffed. Frank ran up and pointed his gun. "Freeze!" he commanded. "We are!" Fred yelled. "Why don't you you do something useful, like help me get this guy cuffed before all of our assets are frozen?" Frank rolled his eyes, holstered his pistol and helped Fred secure the man. They put the suspect in the back of their squad and took him down to the station. Fred and Frank were sent to the Chief to explain. "You were supposed to be on a stakeout!" he roared. "What were you doing out of your car?" "My assets were frozen sir" Fred explained, "I just needed me some coffee to warm them up." The chief rounded on Frank. "What in the hell is he talking about?" he thundered. "Your guess is as good as mine Chief" Frank sighed. "I've been trying to figure him out for years." "Well, while you two were busy unfreezing your damn assets, the target you were supposed to be watching out for slipped clean away! What do you have to say about that?" Before either of them could answer, another officer called the Chief to the door and had a brief conversation with him. He closed the door and turned back to Fred and Frank. "Well men, it just so happens that the man you brought in for robbing the store is the man you were supposed to be watching for on your stakeout. You two got lucky; very lucky. If you ever disobey my orders again, I will have your badges. Do I make myself clear?" The officers left the station and headed back to their patrol car. "You almost got us canned" Frank hissed. "I could really kick your assets right now…I mean ass!" "Could you at least wait until I've had my coffee Frank? If you kick it while it's frozen, it'll shatter into a million little pieces." Frank reaches out his hands to wrap them around Fred's neck when he hits a patch of ice and goes down hard…

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